Rudy Passed Away This Morning

The youngest of the Sableminks family (seven Maltese in all), Rudy passed away this morning. She died of acute kidney failure along with severe respiratory problem. This is the hardest loss I’ve ever experienced and I’m still in shock.

Prior to her death, there weren’t any symptoms relating to kidney failure or respiratory difficulty or any health issue. She had good appetite all along, ate her oatmeal yesterday morning but had no interest in her lunch and dinner—slightly unusual behavior. Normally, I’m not worried when my dogs go off food for a day. Nonetheless, I began to observe her closely. There were no odd behaviors or any cause of concern, just not her bubbly self. I thought she must be tired after our peek-a-boo play session the day before yesterday. After bath, I offered water and her favorite oatmeal milk both she refused. Fear she might be dehydrated, I fed her through syringe and put her to bed.

When I woke up this morning, I could hear her abnormal breathing a room away. When I carried her in a vertical position to have a close examination, her breathing became more rapid and louder. Her gum and tongue were pale and her breath gave off an ammonia-like smell. These are usually signs of serious kidney problem.

Without delay, I rushed her off to the veterinary clinic. True enough, the blood tests confirmed my darkest fear. While she was put in an oxygen tank and on intravenous drip, I was told to prepare for the worst. At that moment, I felt so helpless watching her fidgeting around the tank trying not to take her eyes off me. After fifteen minutes of unsettling movement, she finally laid down in an awkward position. I alerted the technicians and they resuscitated her. Because there was also blood in her lungs, her breathing was very shallow and irregular. Rudy didn’t give up. She fought very hard for every breath she takes. I couldn’t bear to see her suffer any longer and I got the vet to euthanize her.

I’m angry. I’m angry with myself for not able to help her more. I am angry with Rudy for leaving me so suddenly.

Of the seven dogs, Rudy and her mother, Snowie had the sweetest temperament any owner could ask for. She had never once showed tantrum. She’s always ready to make friends (canines and humans) and play. Her favorite game was Gotcha. Her favorite exercise was doga and she’s an expert at it. She’s the tidiest eater yet not greedy. Most memorable thing (frequently complimented on) about Rudy is her natural sweet body scent—forever pleasant and refreshing.

Maybe Rudy had given me some signals but I didn’t take heed. For three months, I’ve a few recurring dreams about my dogs (current and deceased). I tried to decode the dreams but couldn’t find anything relevant or alarming signs. Anyway, I hope to see Rudy in my dream tonight. I hope to hear her say, “I’m alright mommy, I’m happy here with my family.”

Now, I’ve Snowball, Zody, and Rovy (Rudy’s brother). Suddenly, my home feels so vacant.