Some people may take a few months or years to grieve over the loss of their dogs while others are ready to adopt a new dog within a couple of weeks or maybe days. Of course, there is a minority of them choose not to embark on another relationship with dogs again.

There are many reasons as to how these individual owners base their decision. Here are some of the most common reasons. Again I stress, these aren’t wrong or right reasons, it’s simply a matter of what makes us feel most comfortable.

Owners Who Took In Another Dog Within Days/Weeks

• The new dog is a good distraction as it quickly fills the emotional void and dilutes their grief.
• They are used to the companionship of a dog and to the sounds it makes around the house. The absent of these distractions remind them more of their loss, making the grieving period more unbearable.
• Their lifestyles are organized around dog ownership such as walking, feeding, and caring for a dog. Without these chores, owners feel their life is in “chaos.” For example, a bachelor who does morning run or hiking with his dog and without his companion he may not find these activities pleasurable. The Elderly is another group of owners who is also greatly affected.

Owners Who Took In Another Dog Within Months/Years

• They feel disloyal or guilty to their deceased dog if they would to share their love with a new dog so quickly.
• They want to deal with old issues “completely” before embarking onto a new relationship.
• They want to take the time to travel before continuing the responsibilities of dog ownership such as house training a new puppy.

Owners Who Never Took In Another Dog…Ever

• They feel that the new dog will be a constant reminder of the one who is gone.
• The emotional pain of loss was too great to take in another new dog.

Generally, most people manage to get though all the stages of grief. While some become stuck and cannot reflect upon the good times they’d shared with the late dog. They cannot get over the loss of their dog and feel they cannot love another. Sometimes, replacing a new dog may give us an important reflection and insight which we never experienced with the previous dog.

The Biggest Mistake Owners and Well-Meaning Friends Can Make Is…

Getting an exact identical dog of the predecessor. Same breed, sex, size, color, and worst of all naming it the same as the predecessor; pretending it never gone! Although doing so may fill your emotional void quickly, but this will only bring you more headache and unhappiness for your new dog if you expect him to be an exact replica of the dog you have lost.

Just like humans, each dog is unique individual with his own talents, intelligent, and unparalleled characteristics. The newcomer should not be compared to your previous dog. Do not expect him to master all the skills your previous dog had in a short amount of time, this is simply unfair to him. Bear in mind, your previous dog had many years to master those skills. They didn’t come to him naturally, so go easy on the new pup.

The key here is to focus on the positive aspects of the new relationship with your dog. He will have his own personality, one that will bring you different pleasures and challenges. Welcome each of them and you will soon enjoy as rich and rewarding life with your new dog as you did with your last one.

Having said that, if you cannot welcome your new dog with the time, attention, and affection he deserves, you might want to hold on to that thought until you feel you are ready. Owning a dog, be it the first or tenth, is a lifetime investment. Just as much as we deserve their unconditional love, they too deserve our undivided care.

Should You Get A New Dog Before the Other Is About To Die? Ahh…interesting topic! Should I or should I not write a post about this?

You miss your dog. You miss his physical presence. You feel guilty about the loss especially in cases of euthanasia or accidental death (i.e. the recent pet food recall). You miss the unconditional love and acceptance you received. You grieve the missed opportunities, such as the summer trip you and your family had planned to take the dog for hiking in the mountain.

Some people will pass through the deepest, most heart-wrenching pangs of loss in a matter of a few weeks or a few months. After a few months, the deep pain and grief softens. While it softens, you are still grieving and this can last for a year or two.

The First Year Of Grief

According to some experts, the hardest phase of grieving happens in the first year. This is because you are constantly reminded of your loss. Take these instances.

• When your dog’s birthday rolls around, you feel sad.
• When your vet sends a letter reminding you that your beloved dog is due for shots or checkups, you feel distress.
• When your groomer calls to confirm your dog’s next grooming appointment, you feel doleful.
• When the pet boutique sends you their quarterly catalog, you feel jealous or angry looking at those model dogs posing for the camera.

The “Firsts” Grieving Experience

There are many “firsts” that you experience in the first year without your dog. And these “firsts” are the hardest of all to handle especially routines. Often times you feel awkward as if you’ve forgotten or missed doing something

• The first time you go to a park without your dog.
• The first day that you don’t have to prepare food for your dog.
• The first weekend that you don’t have to groom or bath your dog.
• The first time you walk pass a dog toys’ aisle without picking up something for your dog.
• The first anniversary of your dog’s passing.

As you come upon these “firsts,” you will probably feel waves of sadness again, no matter how long it’s been since your dog passed away. But remember, you only experience a “first” once, and then move past it. The next time you experience the same event, it won’t be as raw. You’ll grow stronger while your grief softens. The happy times and good memories you spent with your dog begin to outnumber the days filled with pain and sadness. But you never really completely stop grieving.

As the days go by your grief lessens or softens, you’ll come to accept the loss, or at least learn to live in a world without your beloved dog. Every now and again waves of emotion will run over you. Sometimes it may not feel like anything is happening. You’ll have a good day and then a few bad days—one step forward, two steps back—that’s perfectly normal.

It is important to acknowledge your grieving process and allow yourself to feel these emotions, no matter how painful they are. While you are feeling your pain, you are in the process of healing and eventually you will grow stronger. In time you will become accommodated to this “new” world around you. When acceptance arrives, you’ll be able to re-enter life and open your heart to love again—perhaps for a new puppy?

Think about this, if dogs share the same basic needs (i.e. eat, sleep) and similar internal body make up like we do, is able to cry when in pain, feel happy when there is a cause to, then why wouldn’t they feel sad and grieve when there is cause to?

The level of anxiety of a dog experiences during grieving varies from individual dog’s personality.

Research has shown that dogs with low levels of serotonin (a neurotransmitter linked with mood enhancement) are likely to suffer depression a little more than alpha dogs.

Although dog does not moan aloud for his loss of that special someone, but he could definitely feel the sense of loneliness when he has to stay, play, sit, eat alone; and gradually these activities will be manifested in his behavior.

Behavioral Signs When Dogs Grieve

• Refuse to eat, eat less or more than usual.
• Sleep more than usual or not sleeping where he used to sleep.
• Loss interest in things that he used to feel interested in.
• Stay aloof from you, family members or even your neighbors’ dogs.
• Hide or stay silent most of the time.
• Seem lethargic.

All these are signs of a dog grieving silently over his loss. If the dog isn’t really sure whether the other one died or not, it could be hoping that the other dog will return. In this case, whenever possible let the survivor dog see and scent the body of the recently deceased dog or pet so he could recognize it has died and a chance to say “goodbye.”

What Can I Do To Help My Dog Ease His Grieving Heart

Most importantly, do not fret about it too much for a start, that’s if. You have to wait for time to heal the heart of the grieving dog. Time heals all wounds—in humans and even in dogs. As I said earlier on, not all dogs experience the same grieving process nor do they share the same grieving time frame. Some dogs heal within a few days or weeks, while some last for many months before they forget about the loss of their playmate or friend.

However, here are a few tips you could do or avoid to help ease your dog’s grieving heart.

1. The best thing is to carry on with the surviving dog’s routine as normal. If you have more than one surviving dogs, allow them to work out a new hierarchy among themselves.
2. Do not be tempted to clear out all the toys, leash, bowl, and bed belonging to the late dog right after it has been put to sleep. Do it a few days later. This is critical for those dogs who didn’t get the chance to see and scent the decreased dog. Give the survivor an opportunity to connect his thoughts and then to depart his feelings.
3. For the following days and weeks, give the remaining dog(s) greater attention and care. Do everything you can to take the mind of your dog away from his object of worry. Going for a longer walk or engage him in activities that he normally loves to do. An increased activity with other dogs (i.e. neighbors or friends’ dogs) is almost always beneficial.
4. Perhaps the last thing you need right now are the potential problems that introducing a new pet into the equation may well bring. Personally, I do not recommend owners to do this immediate after. Not at least until a few weeks or months later.
5. Holistic veterinarians may recommend Homeopathic Ignatia amara for dogs that are grieving. Ignatia (C30) can provide effective relief for melancholic and emotionally fragile dogs who are depressed or pining after separation or loss. In some severe circumstances, sedative herbs such as Kalium phosphate (Kali. phos.) and Hypericum perforatum (St John’s Wort) may be required.
6. If you have been using therapeutic canine massage, then this is the best time to increase the frequency. Also, TTouch has been widely used to reduce stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

Hope all the tips listed above will help you to help your dog feel better despite the loss of his late buddy.:smile:

Many times they are isolated from friends and family, so the dog used to be at the center of their social interactions. An elderly person’s schedule may have revolved around the dog in that their own wake up times, bed times, exercise, and eating schedule. These activities may have corresponded with the dog’s needs. As such, when the dog dies there is a huge void in their daily life. The structure is gone. Even the meaning of day-to-day life can evaporate when a dog dies and there is no one left to care for. Now the house is truly empty, and too quiet.

You see, raising children and going to work often make people feel useful and needed. However, when a person is retired and the children have moved away, and perhaps even a spouse and several friends have died, caring for a dog can help the person feel needed again.

When the dog dies, the feeling of needed is gone too. The loss may be extremely hard if the dog had been a link to someone else who died before, such as a spouse. The loss of unconditional love and companionship can be devastating, especially if this was the senior citizen’s sole source of unconditional love and perhaps even true friendship.

If the senior citizen is on a fixed income and unable to afford an expensive medical procedure for their pet, they may have an overwhelming sense of guilt. You need to show support and understanding at this time. If you can, help out financially. It is not necessary all fund be contributed by you. You may seek others to chip in a little. Who knows, others might want to lend some emotional support to that elderly.

As with any friend, give this elderly person a safe environment to express emotions, and help out where needed. Assure them that whatever they’re feeling is okay, and show them that you care about them.

An elderly person who loses a dog may also want to talk about other friends and family who have died, or perhaps talk about their own mortality (especially if they’re in ill health). The death of their dog may renew their unresolved sorrow over losing other loved ones, such as a spouse.

Your job is to listen and support them. Many times I find spoken words are neither as important nor necessary as your presence.

For parents who never experienced losing their dogs during childhood will find it difficult to comprehend their child’s grieving process. Sometimes parents unwittingly pass unpleasant remarks (and that I say it affectionately) to their grieving child in hopes of snapping her out of it. Not only is this method fruitless, but it has an adverse effect. You are actually telling your child that it is wrong to grieve for her best friend.

Here’s a telephone conversation I had with Mrs. Jones (name has been changed to protect her identity) many moons back, see if this scenario rings any bell to you.

Mrs. Jones: My darling girl, Megan, just lost her dog and now finds it very difficult to concentrate on her studies in school.

Renée: I’m sorry to hear that.

Mrs. Jones: She hardly eats even at home and is always silent and always crying…most of the time. She refuses to be comforted and is now getting irritable. Do you find this stupid of her?

Renée: I’m afraid to tell you that if you think this is stupid of her, then you’re not being fair.

Mrs. Jones: I bet your pardon? (Sounded a bit agitated herself)

Renée: Take it easy…let me explain. You see, you might think the dog was nothing more than an ordinary dog, right?

Mrs. Jones: Yes, but we all loved Maggie very much and treated her just like a part of the family. (Almost in an apologetic tone)

Renée: I understand, and with that I agree completely. But do you know what? To Megan, this dog had now grown much closer to her than an ordinary dog. The attachment she had given to this so called ‘ordinary dog’ is now much deeper than even that which humans have for themselves.

Mrs. Jones: Huh? Are you saying that Megan values the dog far more than she values us? (Sounded like she’s about to go into a fit)

Renée: Not quite so but along the line. You see, when you were not there with her, Maggie was her mother and father all rolled into one. When her friends were not there with her, Maggie was her friend and always stayed with her. And since Megan doesn’t have any siblings, Maggie acted as her brother and sister all rolled into one. When she was sad and depressed, Maggie was there with her.

Mrs. Jones: Hmmm… (Calm breathing)

Renée: So, you see…she’s grown to accept this dog as part of her. That’s why it’s so painful to her that Maggie has died. It’s just like losing a part of her. Now, doesn’t she have a genuine reason to be depressed?

Mrs. Jones: I never thought she’d regard Maggie in this manner. (Much calmer)

Renée: That being said, instead of being mad at Megan for losing concentration after the death of her dog, you should be sympathetic with her. This is the time when she needs your care and love, the most. It’s alright to feel lost in the beginning of not knowing how best to assist her grieving process. Once you’re aware of it, give her the love and support she needs.

Mrs. Jones: How do I go about it?

Renée: The first thing you need to do is to have a heart to heart talk with Megan. Explain to her that Maggie has ‘gone to Heaven’ where she’ll meet her someday. Let her be convinced that it’s neither her fault nor anyone’s fault that her companion has died. It’s probably Maggie best intention for her is to be happy and go on with her life. Even though the dog is physically gone, doesn’t mean Megan can no longer hold Maggie in her heart.

Mrs. Jones: Will getting a new dog help ease her grieving process better?

Renée: Right after the death of dog probably isn’t the best idea. Maggie has been gone for….

Mrs. Jones: A little over three weeks.

Renée: Sounds like a reasonable good time. After you have a heart to heart talk with Megan, ask her if she’d like to get another dog. It would be best to get one that looks like Maggie. Then explain to her that this new dog has been sent to her to help her get over the loss of the previous one. If you do this with genuine love and concern, she’ll understand and with time she’ll get over the loss of her dog.

Mrs. Jones: This does sound workable. I’ll give it a go. Thank you for your time.

Renée: You’re always welcome.

Staying mad at your child for grieving her lost dog is never an option. Empathize your child grieving process will help her handle the loss of her dog much better and far more effective.

Few weeks after that telephone conversation, Mrs. Jones called to say that the new dog has bonded very well with Megan after a few days of her arrival. When asked about the name of the new dog, Mrs. Jones said sheepishly, “Josey, it was Megan’s idea to name her after the dog I’d always wanted but never had when I was a child.”

Euthanization is, very simply, an overdose of an anesthetic. Because of the drug used (Phenobarbital), it is typically painless for the dog. The Phenobarbital is administered using a small needle and directly through the vein. The dog will lose consciousness (go to sleep as it is often referred) within a few seconds. There is hardly ever any sign of struggle in your dog after the euthanasia is administered. After about 10 seconds, he would gradually fall into a silent state, his heart stops and her brain’s activity ceases, until his losses his breath and goes limp.

One of the more painful aspects of euthanasia for the owner is the fact that the electrical activity in the body can continue for several minutes after death. Legs and some facial nerves can twitch while the body triggers the lungs to take a reflexive gasp. After ten minutes, this activity should stop. This is not the usual case scenario but it does happen to some dogs.

It doesn’t matter how often I’d gone through euthanization process, whether it was a short or long time span from one dog to the other, is never an experience I can get used to.

Indeed it is a very painful experience; however you’ve to try to keep really calm and collect while the vet administers the euthanasia. It would be best if you could hold or carry your dog very close to your chest. This will eliminate some stress while he “anticipates the outcome” (dogs are great sensors). And by staying collect, you’re sending him a comforting message that it is alright to go to his new master home – heaven.

What Happens After Euthanization?

If you really feel a lot of love for your dog and want it to be decently buried after the euthanasia, then make sure you don’t leave him with the veterinarian after the process is done. Some of these veterinarian doctors actually use these dogs for experiments after the euthanasia.

I strongly urge that you take your dog along with you for burial or cremation. Not all veterinarian clinics have cremation services within their premises, especially those smaller ones they usually subcontract out this service. And if you happen to be in veterinarian clinic with this facility, make sure you proceed straight to the administrative counter and arrange for either mass cremation or individual one. Whichever one you choose, there will be a special day for it, and you’ve the option to choose to participate in that “ceremony.”

This is never a decision you should make on your own. The first person you consult should be your veterinarian, who can let you know the pros and cons behind euthanization, pain management through medication, and any other options he may see as suitable for your dog. Beyond that, you have some deep thinking of your own.

You’ll find a list of questions below that may help you make a more rational decision. If you have other family members, they should be involved in the decision-making process. In addition to being fair, this can help them better cope with the death of their dog later.

Questions to Ask in Case of Severe Illness or Injury

• Does the same illness keep recurring?
• Has your dog’s illness gotten progressively worse?
• Does your dog’s illness still respond to therapy or medication?
• Is your dog suffering too much in its present condition?
• Does the vet have a way of relieving the suffering besides euthanasia?
• If so, ensure that your dogs get the best attention from your vet while it is still alive?
• If your dog survives its illness or injury, can you provide the time necessary to care for your dog?
• Will caring for your dog cripple your family financially?

Use each of these questions as a means of opening discussion with your family members. Talk openly about the illness or injury and what would be best for both your dog and your family. While you may want nothing more than to have your dog back in your home, his comfort should be your top priority.

If keeping him alive means that he’ll remain in pain for the rest of his life, you may decide that it will hurt you more to see him suffer so much over time. If you believe your dog has a decent chance at recovery but his medical bills will place you in a great deal of debt, consider the tension and stress financial issues can cause between family members. Your dog can sense this tension and take it on as his own, which means his health may ultimately suffer because you fought to keep him alive.